You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
