okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i think my cat just said my name.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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