and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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