Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
