The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
