So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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