Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
