Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
