There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
