You're my little dorito
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
