if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
