Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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