so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
