There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize