He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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