I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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