this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
