Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You smell like stripper and shame
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
