That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize