Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
