Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
