is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
