Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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