I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
