I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
