In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
