so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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