Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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