Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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