So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
