The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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