forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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