I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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