I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
