Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
