she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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