Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
