im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
