I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you would pick up someone in the library
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
