I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
