"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
