So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
