they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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