I wish I only lived at night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
