stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im holly from the hills drunk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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