gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
