she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize