i permit you to call me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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