So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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