i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize