hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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