some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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