I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
