Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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