I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
