I didn't shave. On purpose
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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