i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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