There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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