They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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